girl: i love you
me: welcome to the club
girl: *gets offended and walks away*
me: …u were the first member
like if u cried
When you see someone with a happy icon make a really angry text post
I was talking about why Chef Gordon Ramsay was so angry all the time, and explained that he originally wanted to be a professional soccer player but suffered a really bad knee injury and couldn’t play anymore, so he poured himself into cooking and culinary arts to help with his anger issues, but his abusive alcoholic father disapproved of his cooking and died before ever tasting any of it and I realized that Gordon Ramsay has the most anime backstory ever.
You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
I just realized that I grew up during a time where the crazy frog was a thing. Like that was an actual thing that happened, that blue fucking piece of shit frog took the world by storm and it even had a tiny dick and all it did was sing annoying songs while racing around sci-fi towns in a distant future on an invisible motorbike. I can’t believe this. How did that happen. Who LET that happen.